The Pooping Ninja
by KattheKat
Summary: Naruto goes through life not knowing what it's about. Why do flowers grow? Why do kittens smell like pillow cases? Why does my belly button smell like anus? In this thrilling story you will know everything. You will know all.
1. The Crowning

**Sugoi sugoi, senpai! pece, lov and all others. Ninjas are kawaii desu!**

Naruto stared into the sunset. His eyes glazed upon the few falcons eating puppies. Poor puppies.

JUST THEN.

OH MY GOSH.

SUDDENLY A NINJA SENPAI RACED TOWARDS ME.

"I must go! Must eat noodles for I am fat!"

Little Naruto was a plump little man. His fat waved through the wind like an airplane in 911.

ACCIDENTALLY SAW HOT GIRL SHOWERING

*NOSEBLEED*

"Forgive me, big tit woman. For I have seen your nipple hair."

She bowed down before me and accepted my apology.

Today was a good day. I am going to think about brushing her nipple hair in the shower tonight.

BUT

OH NO

THE MOCHI NINJI NIGHTMARE SENPAI WAS STILL AFTER ME

"I must flee." I remembered. How silly of me.

I ran and ran and ran and ran until my kawaii legs wouldn't take it anymore. I fell to the hard, stone floor.

"NU" I groaned.

Then I remembered that I had shaved my legs this morning. That means super fun swim time!

I jumped into the icey water. Dolphins struggled to get beside me, I thought they just wanted to chill BUT THEY TOOK MY CLOTHES OFF!

OH NO! MY STRAPPING, 12 YEAR OLD BODY IS SHOWING AND MY NIPPLES ARE HARD.

Just then, the kawaii ninja senpai caught up to me. His legs were shaven as well.

"I guess you can say it's pretty nippy outside." He chuckled and blushed.

We shared a laugh.


	2. The Browning

The senpai ninja stared at me with his beady eyes full of wonder bread.

Then a dead dog floated up to us.

God that makes me so horny.

DEAD DOGS ARE MY ONLY WEAKNESS FROM MY RAGING BONER

As soon as the ninja master looked away at the ducks having sex I quickly held my breath and dove under water to suck my cock.

I didn't know how long I was under there

It felt like hours.

And it was so cold. So cold.

The Ninja had a boner too.

SO I SUCKED IT

I SUCKED THAT RAGING COCK-FILLED BONER

The cum floated through the water and some fish ate it.

They thought it was delicious

"What is your name?" The ninja questioned.

"M-m-my n-n-ame is Naruto..." My face was blushing like the ass of a rose.

The ninja farted and I smelled it. I hope he knew I smelled it. But I didn't really mean to, the fart bubble just stuffed itself into my nose hole.

I'm happy I smelled it though.

I stared back at him with fart stank in my nostrils.

He was about to ask an important question.

My butthole prepared for it.

I'm guessing he noticed my gaping ass hole widening every second because he made a duck face with his hand and stuffed that shit in there.

My ass was so agape that half the ocean was being swallowed into it.

I must now this kawaii desu's name.

And his question destined for me.


	3. Satanism

"Will you marry me?" The sugoi ninja asked. The ring pop already being fit on my finger.

FUCK YES

I thought in my head. But then I remembered that God said it was bad for gays to marry.

"I-I can't..." My eyes looked down at all the fart bubbles majestically floating to the surface.

"It's because Jesus is standing in the way isn't it?" Ninja boy knew exactly what was up.

The ninja carried me to the sandy ground away from the semen-filled water.

We thought for hours about our decision.

I loved ninja man.

I loved his karate ways.

I suddenly peeped up, "Lets follow Satan instead!"

"Of course! Satan lets us do more stuff!"

"We can even kill people and be praised!"

We were both filled with joy and buttsex. Our hearts shimmered with colorful boners.

We ran to the Satan church. We ran as fast as we could because we wanted to frog each other so bad.

You wanna see that shit.

We know you do, you piss-covered, little shit.

There were dead bodies everywhere with jelly beans on every table.

It was filled with cartoonish gays. (Those are the only people who follow Satan. It's just for gay rights, basically.)

The weddings here were different. The party games included "Soggy Biscuit" and "Circle Jerk". (too the youngins reading this go ask your parents what these mean. Your dad could probably give you an example or two.)

Yeah, Satan is pretty sexual but that's cool.

After we watched Morgan Freeman and Leonardo DiCaprio have buttsex WE WERE NEXT.

"Do you, Sugoi Ninja, take Naruto's ween as your hellish dick for all of eternity? If so, please respond, 'I'd suck it'" Satan asked. He wore a pretty cool bow tie.

"I'd suck it." Sugoi Ninja said as he stared deeply into my sparkling eyes.

"Do you, Naruto Suckmyanus, take Sugoi Ninja's ween as your hellish dick for all of eternity? If so, please respond, 'I'd suck it'"

I felt all eyes and boners on me.


	4. Jeffery

Satan coughed slightly as he waited for an answer.

Walt Disney was waiting impatiently with Adolph Hitler for their turn.

Just then, I remembered that nice lady's nipple hair prodding out of her tender nip.

"I'd suck it." I responded with a tear in my eye.

"You may now play sword fight." Satan assured.

We both quickly pulled our pants down and whipped our massive boners out.

We whacked at each other for five minutes and raced out of the chapel.

"Almost forgot." Sugoi Ninja stated as he went down on his knees in front of my raging boner. He slid the Ring Pop on my dick. It fit perfectly.

We cried in each others arms for what seemed like forever.

That was, until I heard a voice behind us. He sounded plump. Very plump.

"Jeffery?" I turned around to see a tall, fat, green man. His ears looked fucking wicked. "Jeffery John, is that you?"

Who was Jeffery John?

"Shrek?" Sugoi Ninja said.

"Who's Jeffery?" I sternly questioned.

"Only THE BEST lover in the world!" Shrek was very sassy with his movements. This taunted me.

Sugoi Ninja turned to me and said, "Yeah, my real name is Jeff."

This crippled me. I felt broken. I felt unneeded.

"Jefferson, why didn't you tell me you've moved on? I finally get to see you and..." Shrek noticed the Ring Pop on my dick. "You two are married? Already?" His sassy attitude was no more.

"We broke up, Shrek. I moved on that very day it happened. You shouldn't have drove me off like that."

I could see sadness in his face.

"It was just one time, Jeff... Patrick was never as good as you."

"Well, I'm with Naruto now." Jeffery said and pulled me closer to his moist boner.

Shrek looked at me. "At least I knew his name. I just want you to know: I was his first. NOTHING will change that."


	5. Relations

I turned to Jeff with a turd creeping out of my armpits.

"What's Shrek talking about?" I stared at him in his bonerific eyes.

"He was that first partner. As soon as I left him I came to this town, AnusLeak, and met you."

Could it be LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?!

"You don"t love him anymore do you?" I prepared my anus for the answer.

"Of course not."Jeff blinked 47 times in that sentence.

"I love you Sugoi- I mean Jeffery."

We kissed.

We didn't just kiss, though.

We used our fingers, too.

I could smell his fart on my pinkie.

It was divine.

We moaned and squirmed right in front of the Hell Church.

As soon as people started to crowd around us we decided to somewhere private.

We ran off to Ol Man Jerket's yacht and told each other stories of the times we drank our farts.

Those were really good times.

Suddenly, his phone rang and it was vibrating. The vibrations felt so good next to my anus.

"I have an iPhone." Jeff said.

"I have a Samsung Galaxy S4."

"You'res is obviously better." Jeff said. "But i have an app that you'll like."

"Wait," I stopped him in his sexy process, "Who was that calling you?"

He shook and started to sweat.

"WHO THE HELL IS IT!" I was tired of this boy's shenanigans.

"It's Patrick."

"Who's Patrick?"

"He's.." Jeff began.

"HE'S MY PARTNER!"

Shrek was here again, stalking us. Damn ogre.

"You're a slut, you know that?" I told him

"Look, you said you wanted to wait until marriage to have sex and I couldn't wait."

"First of all, we ARE married and second, I never said that." I looked down at the Ring Pop on my now, flaccid dick.

I'm starting to regret all this. I wish I never smelled his supple nipples and tasted his hairy farts.


	6. Vibrations

I had a dream last night.

I haven't dreamed in a long time.

And this dream was so special

It felt so good.

Tom Selleck was fingering me.

His sweaty, Juicy Fruit hand was ballooning me.

I loved every bit of it.

I realized now that I really AM gay and I do belong in Satanism.

In fact, in Satanism, Satan welcomes all.

Gay, straight, pedophile, you name it!

OH SHIT

THERE'S VIBRATIONS NOW

AND CHOCOLATE POO

I moan a lot as the vibrations hit my gay-hole.

(Which is also my poo hole)

It swished around inside me and i fucking liked it so much i threw up.

He picked up my vom in his hand AND SLURPED IT UP WITHOUT A CARE BEAR IN THE WORLD

As soon as I opened my eyes from my slumber I quickly realized that

IT WAS ALL HAPPENING FOR REAL

Shrek was watching in the corner.

Glaring like a turd snuggler.

Yeah, ogres are like the black people in the real world. They're constantly ridiculed for shit they don't even do. Except fo fried chicken. We all know they do the fried chicken.

I glared at Jeffery who was USING HIS OWN PHONE TO MASTURBATE ME!

It was one of those vibrating apps that never work. Come on, we've all tried them before. Let it all out.

Tear flowed out of my eyes. Thick and muscular like semen.

I CAME ALL OVER THE BED

OH MY SCIENCESFSEDESGFSEGFSD

THAT'S SOMETHING TO REMEMBER

OH MY

I looked up at Jeffery and whispered, "I guess you let the cat out of the bag."


End file.
